Conversations with Women & Other Imaginary Concepts

Wow. I ask for feedback on back cover text and I get an explosion of conversation. I'm impressed because this brings out a lot of the hurdles a writer has to deal with. But first...

This is not a parody. That being said, anyone is free to jump in and discuss. If it stays civil, it stays. Otherwise, I'll use my editing powers and that will be the end of it.

If you'll give me a minute or two, I'll say a few words about myself, which, in turn, will say a few things about my writing. In this case, I'll explain my background in dating and relating to women.

As a child, I largely learned to read on my own. By the time I was going to school, I already had an active imagination. Those two things together made me a eager to read, especially when the stories were some sort of fantasy, or eventually science fiction. I didn't read any of the great tales until I hit college though. By then, I'd already made my imagination something that I used creatively.

When I was seven, I accidentally made up a GI Joe character I called "Commander Lazer Killer," or "CLK" for short. That mess got me into so much trouble. I kept making up stories involving CLK's exploits, usually fighting or teaming up with characters from movies I liked. As I hit puberty, my fascination with some crazy fighter in camo waned. I found that black was a color I could wear comfortably and confidently, so CLK started dressing the same. Then I looked in the mirror and realized how ridiculous CLK was; that's when I dropped all but the first nine letters. With a little refinement, I had the character I call "Commander." (Note: Yes, this blog is named for Commander because I still write his tales to this day.)

As I mentioned, a lot of my ideas were shifting as I hit puberty. That's natural. But none of the ideas I had were being abandoned. As a good student, I knew that, if I wanted to know how to do something, I just had to look it up. In tenth grade, I found out, for the first time, there are a lot of things you can't ever look up.

What happened was a new student came to my school. She was in tenth grade, just like me. She liked basketball and movies and books. She was a genius, which instantly made her my rival. And she was pretty. A very simple kind of pretty. She was pretty enough though, that I obviously liked her, and she obviously didn't. Put the fact that we were rivals and friends along with that, and you've got a recipie for unrequited love. I think this is the point where most people would have given up and moved on to the next girl. I didn't have that option. There was no next girl. I didn't have any real interest in anyone else.

Here's where the stalker arguement comes up, because a few people I went to school with thought it was a proper label to apply to me. I can logically debunk that thought. I didn't call her incessantly, in fact, she was always the one who called me. I didn't follow her around on Friday or Saturday nights. I was incredibly dumbstruck and smitten. Without any real guidance, I did the best I could. One last bit here, I started my senior year of high school by asking this girl to the movies, but the window had passed during the summer when I heard little from her.

About two months into my first year of college, I almost asked a girl out. She joyously told me her boyfriend was coming to see her one second before I was going to ask her out. Needless to say, I didn't say anything after that. My second year or college, I tried asking another girl out, which resulted in us playing this crazy game of sexual tension for a year, but it never resulted in me ever having a chance with her.

I was 20 years old when I had my first kiss and first girlfriend. It lasted a few months. My first girlfriend felt like she had to fight the girl I wanted in high school and another girl for my affection, but it wasn't true. They were still my friends, which created a decent amount of conflict that wasn't necessary. I've had another girlfriend since then, but continued physical distance (100+ miles, and neither of us trying to see the other) killed that relationship.

By the way, I know this will sound funny, but it's true (and not a parody). I've never had sex. I'm 28 years old and I've never had to use a condom. I've had one opportunity with girlfriend #2, but I was so inexperienced, our relationship as a whole was an exercise in what don't I know. Besides, I wasn't ready. I'm probably still not ready.

I could go into detail about what I find attractive. I could discuss the quality of legs more than breasts or auburn hair over blonde hair. I could do a lot of things. Instead, I'll settle something here and now. I have rotten luck when it comes to women. It's not for a lack of trying; I'm just not attracted to every woman that walks in front of me. It takes more than ten seconds to decide if I'm interested in a girl.

Last week is a good example of this. The girl I pursued last week, I'd been at least partially attracted to for a few months. I decided to move forward because of those elements outside of the physical, although that's an important element as well. To quote one of my coworkers when I told her the outcome of my most recent failed pursuit, "It was still a good idea."

Now that I've said all that, you might wonder how I portray relationships. As largely an outside observer to the dating world, I have two methods to this. One is cheap couplings assembled only for sex. The other type could be called honest relationships, where it's for more than sex (if that), it's to be around the other person. I know that Vitamin F has both. In fact, I'm sure my depiction of both will likely create an implication that I see sex in our society as being cheap and pathetic. I euphamism I might use would be going to cash in a winning lottery ticket and throwing it away to pick up a penny off the ground; sure, you're a penny richer, but you could have won a million dollars and you let it get away.

I think that covers most everything concerning how my approaching women has developed over the past 13 years or so. I now open the floodgates of discussion. Come one, come all, come and tear my past asunder.

Vitamin F: Back Cover Copy

Here's a version of what I'm thinking might be the summary text for Vitamin F. You know, the few paragraphs you find on the back cover or the inside of the dust jacket. Check it out and let me know what you think:

Bridgett was tasting the first fruits of adulthood. She studied history. She had a crush on a young woman.

But that was normal. In fact, it was the only way to secure the gene pool from destruction.

Bridgett's life was her own. Her genes, like everyone else's, were state property.

It was only a matter of time until someone came to collect.

Good Fortune

I've been very fortunate as of late. As a demonstration of said fortune, I'm going to count my blessings right here and now.

1. Whenever I make a daily goal for my writing, I make it.

2. I've got a good job. Bills are paid. I'm not starving. Etc.

3. Beta Readers. I'm setting up a list now for those who will be the first to read Vitamin F. I've got to know it works before I can hope to sell it. I just need a couple more readers at this point and it would probably be better if one or both were women. The main audience for this one is more the literary female sort, so that's who I need to read it for me. Of course, I'm not cutting the guys out here. It's actually 50/50 as it currently stands.

4. I'm pressing my luck saying this next one, but I'll say it anyway. I asked a girl I work with to go to lunch with me and she said she would. I'm just waiting on our schedules to link up again at this point. She's got a lot going on, which is why she asked me to write down my number for her.

5. With the possible exception of #4, I'm more confident of things right now. I feel like I can and will get Vitamin F published.

6. I just got in contact with one of my friends from high school again. Since he's in the Army now, he's been sent to Iraq twice. His wife is going to have their first child in the fall. I'm glad he's doing well.

So the count is six. Six major things I am quite fortunate to have.

Thank you. I mean it, thank you.

Success!

I won't hold back, I've been fighting with some elements involving the Brotherhood of Life, a terrorist group in Vitamin F. One of the main things I've been fighting with is the layout of their headquarters. I've imagined that it was a large compound, mainly ruins of some previously existing structure.

The headquarters has to be isolated from the main city. It's got a lot of cinder block construction on the interiors and can house their entire local operation. It's got a great deal of space where things and people could hide--a random investigation of the area would find nothing, especially if the Brotherhood had a chance to see what was coming. The headquarters is also close to a wooded area, although I don't know of many ways to get this particular bit of info into the story itself.

The summers around the headquarters are very hot, especially in the daytime. Temperatures easily reach the mid-nineties, which can be harnessed as a torture mechanism. As a terrorist encampment, it also needs to have a good place to practice various activities of that nature (firing ranges, areas to test explosives, etc.).

When recently asked what city Vitamin F takes place in, I said that it was a city that didn't exist yet, although it is likely built near or on the ruins of Chicago. Summers are hot, winters are cold.

All these things collided a few hours ago, just after I woke up. The fact that the nearby major city is Chicago, at least in modern terms, made me remember why I picked Chicago. I've been there. But the reason I went was so that I could go to the Wizard World comic book convention, which is in Rosemont. Rosemont, much like Chicago, is hot in the summer, cold in the winter. It has patches of forest nearby, as well as O'Hare International Airport; O'Hare is on the opposite side of the highway as its runways, creating a unique show if you're driving nearby and a plane needs to take off.

All this together made me see that I've been somewhere near Chicago that would serve as a fine headquarters for the Brotherhood of Life. That's why, as of today, when I write about their headquarters, I'll be using a lot of the topography and design of the convention center in Rosemont. Out of fairness to them, I'm not using the current name of the center; those words will have been lost for some reason or another.

The Value of a Number

A few months ago, I had dinner with legendary Batman writer/editor Denny O'Neil. Those assembled had a wonderful discussion about writing, literature, comics, science fiction--all the things I usually talk to people about. During the discussion, I briefly mentioned that I was working on a novel. After asking how far I'd gotten, I gave him the page count (was then 35,000), which he thought sounded like quite the accomplishment.

He then relayed that the average modern novel has between 75,000 and 125,000 words. I'm at 73,200 words on Vitamin F.

I'm almost there, almost at the level to make for true novel length. At least, according to a published author I am.

In similar news, I've officially put together "Chapter 1." I'm assembling a group of what Jim Bitcher calls "beta readers" to look over it. I'm going to wait until I've got more chapters set up before I get a full compliment of beta readers to go over it. Right now, I've got two, with another person ready to read whatever I'll give her.

Office Matters

My computer had been in my bedroom for a long time. Last week I moved it in an effort to do some network gaming. Even though the gaming failed, I decided to take the opportunity to put together a full-fledged office. A few minutes ago, I got a TV, a VCR, and a DVD player in here, so I'd say it's officially an office.

OK, I still need to get the printer in here. I also need to get a bunch of stuff picked up and my CD drive replaced. But aside from those things, I'm up and running. Since this is something of a reorganization, I decided to start playing Wolf's Rain again to mark the occasion.

The main thing I'm doing is trying to reinforce the idea of writing a little bit at a time. I've read recently that you have to shut out the fact that you want to finish a novel if you ever hope to get done with one. Worry too much about something and all you'll end up doing is worrying--you won't get anything done.

So here I am, doing the best I can to motivate myself to go farther down the long road of writing. The long road of Vitamin F.