Finding Flaws

My recent discussions with a few people have helped me see what areas of Vitamin F really need work. I'm going to keep going on the current draft of course, if for no other reason than to lay a foundation for the real work that draft three will bring with it.

I think the next move, once I've finished with draft two and put forth an attempt at getting an agent, will have to be making a list of what needs to be fixed, chapter by chapter.

In the past couple of days, I've had a few real fights with the last fifth of the book. The tough stuff is still just that. I'll get through it.

Characters Need More Character

This is what Lyndsey has told me several times. It's not that all my characters need to be badasses, and not all of them need work. She finds a lot of fault with the machinations of super sorority girl Marissa and non-conformist Delilah.

Lyndsey's comments have been among the most direct I've ever been given. Partially because she's not one to glaze over her feelings about something, partially because she's in my corner. She likes my writing style, my pacing, my plot, the twist. She even told me in a bit of speed talking that she likes Bridgett, Penelope, Oriane, and the cupcake.

I'm so glad everybody likes the cupcake.

A lot of this comes from an extensive e-mail conversation I had with Lyndsey over the past few days. As I said, she gave me some direct comments on my work, but she also gave me some very kind words of encouragement.

My only dread now is that she's going to really, really hate Chapter 47. It was the hardest chapter for me to write, one of the hardest to edit, and if everything stays on track, I get to edit it again within a week.

It shows that I care about these characters when I don't want to see their absolute darkest moment. If it was a matter of guns, swords, or explosions, I wouldn't have much problem with it. Gore isn't too much a problem for me either, being a biologist and a fan of Berserk. It's the emotional vacuum. It's the animality of the chapter. But I never advertised Vitamin F as being an entry for happy time theater.

Good news is that I'm going to finish draft two with about 45 days to spare on the current 100-day cycle.

A Twist on Things

"I like the twist. It's a good twist."

That's what Lyndsey told me yesterday. In a week, she went from begin in single digit chapters to having reached chapter 20. After reading that large block (including chapter 14), she first mentioned her displeasure with chapter 20.

Her problems with the story always stem back to a central idea: my characters need to have more character. It's not just that my characters need to be more believeable. Truth is, I'm likely very close on a lot of fronts. Angie and Lyndsey actually debated the quality of my characters, so I'm on the right track, I just need to refine them.

However, I need to follow Lyndsey's suggestions more. Not just to improve the quality of my characters, but to better match with expectations of the core audience. Being a literary-minded, college-educated woman, Lyndsey is the closest thing I have to an ideal reader--so I need to take her thoughts into a bit closer consideration than most.

Editing is a rough process, some say the hardest part of the whole thing. Guess I needed reminding of that.

Gaining Momentum

Did something really cool a few days ago: I managed to edit a handful of chapters in a day. I managed to do it for two days in a row, all without losing my usual pace.

Crossed an interesting bridge with Mind & Machine. I know exactly what I'm building toward, so much that I now know what the cover looks like. Heiroglyphs depicting the basic history of the series from the battles that take place in Mind & Machine, to the eventual battles that could occur with The Golden Hollow.

Maybe I should draw the herioglyphs.

Am I Going Fast Enough?

I gave myself one hundred days. I've got sixty-one left.

Saturdays and Sundays seem to be terrible for trying to make any progress to speak of on the three goals. I've still got to make my way through 26 Chapters of Vitamin F.

I'm trying to consolodate my reading. Since I finished off Small Favor late last week, I've tried to stick with The Sword of Shannara, but I've gotten a bit of that sensation I get when I stop reading a book. Terry Brooks is a fine writer, but there are times when he just goes on and on with his descriptions. He sparingly adds characters and there's been a distinct sense throughout the book--there's a big world and we have to care about it. Some of those paragraphs just run on too damn long. The last chapter I read had three paragraphs in the first four pages.

I understand the need for long paragraphs. I wish I had longer paragraphs myself. But in modern commercial writing, shorter paragraphs make for a faster pace. There are two key notes my readers keep coming to me with after reading the first chapter of Vitamin F: "I really like Delilah," and "Where's the next chapter?"

Look at Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. He uses some spectacular descriptions, but his paragraphs aren't usually all that long. He usually only needs about two sentences to describe how a place or a character looks. Richer detail comes from redressing those settings later.

So when I look at my text and see that I've slashed six pages, I feel a great sense of accomplishment, especially given all the factors that are making it take up more pages. But there are times when I look over a chapter and think about killing the whole thing--the chapter, not the book.

Starting Another Book

I finally filled the writing notebook that I carry around with me. The last bit I put in there was the direct aftermath of the battle between Commander and Dural that I mentioned previously. I've wasted little time trying to put notes in the new notebook.

My first notes in the new book are about Vitamin F. Oscar just started reading it and he quickly pointed a few things out. The largest matter was reiterating Lyndsey's comments about how it sounds like the writer is male even though the point of view character is female. He also pointed out the commercial value of having a cute little goth girl running around in firm good standing with Bridgett. This doesn't seem like a major statement, but he said it becuse he perceived some antagonism between the two, which comes from my erratic way of jumping between parts of the story.

The last bit I tossed into the book today was a couple of paragraphs from Mind & Machine where I start to show that Der Former may have more interest in Kathryn than he has in Commander.