The Tide Begins to Shift Back...

After getting some good suggestions on how to conclude my ongoing struggle with class scheduling, I thought about the various things going on at the moment and how they are turning out well, all things considered.

To start off, I did my good deed of the day and made what appeared to be some dramatically helpful suggestions to one of my classmates in regards to approaching his class project. This guy said he was currently at an F and didn't know what to do to complete the project. We were just talking and I told him my approach to the project. He asked me a few questions about how that could work and I explained it. Don't worry, this guy is an undergraduate and has a completely different topic than I do, so I didn't damage anything by telling him anything.

Another bit of good news--I finished reading the second Vampire Hunter D novel Monday, Raiser of Gales. I can see why it wasn't the basis for the second movie, just in the way it was paced and the development of the story. Also, the resolution is very... static.

Because I finished a book, I've got to find something new to read. Over this past weekend, I noticed a book when I was out shopping with my family. The Scar, by China Mieville. I looked at it a little and while the elements mentioned on the book cover seemed like something I wouldn't really be enthusiastic about, there was an unknown element that drove me to investigate this book and see if it was really something I wanted to read. I looked around, found it at The Book Rack, and bought it.

Sometimes things call out to me. Believe it or not, the movie (not mini-series) Dune was one of these things. I literally waited 15 years to see that movie. Oddly enough, it was probably worth the wait.

And I'm writing. It's a piece tenatively titled "Sacrificial Lambs." It starts off by bringing up a string of odd deaths and suicides, finding a connection between them all. And it's on a global scale. Crazy stuff.

Interim Thoughts

I thought I would vent some thoughts and frustrations, so here we go.

I've mentioned that I am dealing with some troubles signing up for classes. I found a 2 hour class that might fit, but last week learned that there wasn't enough people to make the class. That put me back at square one (or two) with very little time to spare. I've found another way to fill those hours, but it's a really thin, stupid plan at best. I need a little time to confer with my major professor about it, but if he agrees, then it'll be a go.

You can never say you're finished thinking about someone if you ever thought about them for a significant amount of time. Old friends stay lodged in you memory. Former crushes stay lodged in your imagination. Past girlfriends have a lingering chemical effect. You'll never forget, no matter what you do, no matter how long you might try.

Finder. Damn good book. I finally got finished with it and let me say that Greg Rucka did it again. Realistic action with character. That's where he really shines. Some day I might actually get to rad more about Atticus Kodiak; none of those books are available around here. With Atticus, I can't say I understand the character, but I can sympathize with him and understand the situations he gets into. I can't understand the character because he seems so real in his manner and reactions. Very human.

I wish I had more to say about writing, but I don't. I have a copy of "The Golden Hollow" that sits in my backpack so I can show it to someone and get a reaction. All that copy has been able to do recently is serve as a blinding reminder of how little I've accomplished recently. I need to write.

Why I Hate Infinite Crisis, Part 1

I know what you're thinking--I've been saying Infinite Crisis is good stuff and now I'm bashing it. Give me a minute and I'll explain.

I thought Infinite Crisis was going to be the culmination of a lot of little plot threads coming out of several books I read, among which is my favorite DC book, Wonder Woman. Greg Rucka did a remarkable thing; with assisstance from Dan Campisi, he got me to read about a character I had no interest in, then over time, make that character my favorite DC superhero. I was one of the first who agreed with Greg Rucka's affirmation that Diana was the "baddest motherfucker in the DC universe."

A little more than a month ago, when the first issue of Infinite Crisis came out, what did I see? Wonder Woman made this nice sweeping sword stroke that looked like she was going to kill Mongul. That's something a warrior would do, which is good because Diana is a warrior. However, at the end of the issue I saw the first thing I hate about Infinite Crisis.

The last page had a weird group of people on it. There was an old man dressed up as and claiming to be Superman. There was some guy in a gold metal leotard (*shudder*). There was someone's kindly 90-year-old grandma. There was a kid dressed up as Superman, but it couldn't be Superboy because he wears a black T-shirt and jeans as a costume. All these people are on a big splash page saying--YOU CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE AND KNOW WHO THEY ARE!

No, I don't.

To clarify, those people are Earth-2 Superman, Alexander Luthor, Earth-2 Lois Lane, and Superboy-Prime. They are the surviving heroes of Crisis on Infinite Earths, a really old crossover that sort of restarted the DC universe. These characters were put in a bubble because their worlds were dead. But I haven't read that story and I hear it's a task to get through. Still, I don't really care about what went on 20 years ago, especially when it has no bearing on modern stories at all.

Of course DC had to shove it down my throat. Thanks for proving that any comic company can fuck up. (I've been cussing up a storm already, so I see no need to hold back.)

Today, the second thing I hate about Infinite Crisis popped up. I get the Greg Rucka e-mail newsletter. In it he confirmed that Wonder Woman is cancelled. His run on that book is over. This is stemming from a certain crossover where a certain Amazon is on every chanel breaking a man's neck.

Let me elaborate why this is bad. First, it currently looks a lot like Greg Rucka's not writing the book any more (there's still a slight chance he'll write the new #1, because there'll be one). Following the trend from an old rumor, that means another writer will have a shot at writing Diana. Odds are, if someone else writes the character, all that good ambassador by day, warrior by night shit will be gone. It could go back to secret identities and twirling transformations and more happy-time 1970s bullshit.

I didn't know what to expect from Infinite Crisis initially, but I know that it had nothing at all to do with any dumbass Earth-2. I also wanted Greg Rucka to get what he wanted all along--to write Wonder Woman to his heart's content. So far, I'm not getting those things.

Departmental Politics

Politics is a necessary evil in our society. I've long since accepted this. Of course, one of the stipulations of my accepting of it is the fact that I won't live by politics. I'll play fair and be honest and do the things I need to do, but I'm not going to jump through hoops just because there are hoops there. Also, I won't allow myself to play any politics at all in arenas where politics aren't necessary.

Being a teaching assisstant means that I get all the stresses of a graduate student, all the stresses of low-ranking biology faculty, and only half the advantages of each. I don't even count as staff. I'm some freak abberation between faculty, staff, and student.

The primary stress I have always had as a student--graduate or undergraduate--is having to deal with the next semester's classes. I'm usually too busy to deal with it. There's never any exception to this. I take that back, this semester has been so busy that I'm about to go off the deep end. Trying to keep up with teaching, trying to keep up with my studies, hoping I can get some thesis work done, realizing that I've got nothing to write about at the moment, seeing myself desperately fighting sleep deprivation in the coming months.

Let me clarify a few more things. In order to keep my assisstantship, I have to stay enrolled in at least 6 hours worth of classes each semester. I've been a graduate so long though, I've only got one class left that I have to take, and it's only one credit hour.

Priority sign-up was two weeks ago. I knew when it hit and I knew when it had passed. I had bigger things on my mind. Now that I've finally gotten back on track with those things, signing up for classes had to catch up with me. I'm officially being nagged about it.

Nagged. Ugh. Sounds like petty crap to me. Petty crap runs rampant in the Biology Department (one of the two reasons I distance myself from it a lot). They don't call it petty crap though. Some people call it Departmental Bullshit in secret, but what they usually end up calling it is Departmental Politics. Did I mention I hate politics?

Screw it. I'll get signed up, not because of the politics, but because it's a requirement for me to keep getting paid. And I'm being given until the vague due date of November 23 to do it. Then what? You going to have a higher level secretary nag me? Everybody has better things to do than to deal with this. I really hope this is the last time. I don't want to do this anymore.

Barriers of Perception

I'm a stubborn person by nature. I don't necessarily dwell on things, but I can. It can make me determined and inspired. It can also make me irritated and evasive.

One of the things I'll do to deal with excess stress, is that I'll sparate out the stresses. Deal with one thing at a time, and everything becomes a lot simpler. Try to pile a bunch of little things up, and you'll explode. Try to pile up a bunch of big things, all that you get is devestation.

A couple of weeks ago, I rescheduled when I was going to discuss some things with my major professor, mainly because I was sick of dealing with the university and I wanted to leavel. OK, I was sick of having to write an exam by committee, and having the others try to write it behind my back. Anyway....

I've half-inadvertently dodged my major professor all semester. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't want to do it. I just didn't have anything pressing to discuss with him. Then, I had tons to do with teaching A&P. Next, I've got my loyalties to my friends, my students, my interests. I do a lot of things and I feel like I need to have something of a strong commitment to. Sometimes, when you do a lot, things get lost in the cracks.

This time around, I've managed to let communication with my major professor fall to nothing. My thesis is rabbits. He's more into squirrel stuff. He gets bombarded by e-mails constantly. He struggles to find time to write and work with his research. He has multiple classes to teach and multiple grad students to deal with (most of which work with squirrels). I don't want to get in his way.

Unfortunately, I need to touch base with him if nothing else. Actually, I need more. I'm running out of classes to take, I'm getting sick of school, my assisstantship is going to be winding down next semester, and I need to sort out my thesis. There's also departmental political bullshit games to play, one of the main reasons why I usually stay invisible within the department.

I need to talk to him and I'm afraid that he won't be in my corner anymore. This is the guy who recruited me to be a grad student in the first place. He's also the first, and maybe only, person who'll be able to take up for me when it comes time to defend my thesis publically. I need him on my side. If he's not, and if there's no chance of getting him back on my side, then I'm finished with being a grad student and everything that comes with it. There will be no one else who I will be able to turn to, no one else to guide me. There will be plenty of people who can grade me, but if those people aren't on my side, then I get a bad grade, or no grade.