Shifting the Burden

Finally, after uncountable hours of work, I have finished the initial draft of my thesis paper. Rolling in at 62 pages total (some of those are contents and acknowledgements, but I had to work on that too), my thesis, The Distributional Limits of Swamp Rabbits (Sylvilagus aquaticus) in Southeast Missouri, is almost complete. Here's what's left:

In addition to the digital copies of the manuscript that I've already sent, I need to turn in hard copies of the paper to each member of my committee. After that, I've got to get everyone to agree on a time, date, and location for my defense. Next, give said defense. Finally, edit the paper to fully meet with the approval of the committee.

To sum up, the hardest parts are likely behind me. It's still going to have challenges, but from here on, I'll be able to predict most of those challenges a lot more than I could predict how my draft was going to turn out.

Now the burden isn't solely on my shoulders, but more with the committee as a whole. Three professors have to decide on a time when they (and the public) can get together and decided... well... that I'm finished with everything, or most of it.

It's Good To Have Friends

Rocky called me up last night and asked if I was at a point with my thesis where I could take a few hours and come see Superman Returns. I looked at where I was and the time I had until he was going to show up, then said I would. I should also mention that Rocky said he would get my ticket for me.

This coming Friday, Jeff is going to be taking most of our roleplaying group to see... Superman Returns. In a very similar fashion, he says he's getting all our tickets. Both times when this has come up, I've said, "Thanks," I taken the ticket.

I'm glad I did. The jury's still out on my final verdict toward the film, but any way I end up looking at it will start with "It's really damn good." This is the kind of movie anyone can see and probably enjoy. It's got interesting story, unique depictions of characters, and a Superman that in no way, shape, or form resembles a smug asshole, like in the comics.

Even when the comics are written well, I can't help but see that smugness, that sense of narcississm, that mentality of haughtyness trying to come out of Superman. Look close and you can see it on the edges even now. But Brandon Routh, he just seems like a cool guy.

I'm pretty harsh on Superman most of the time; I just can't support a character that's a boy scout, an asshole, and an idol all in the same package. This movie isn't a case of that: he's here to help, it's that simple. All he wants to do is help people, because he's just a nice, normal person. I know those are rarities, but if you can find friends who will buy you a movie ticket just because they can, then take what pleasure you can from it.

It's the little things in life that matter.

Birdcatchers

If you ask most people what the most interesting thing they've done this week is, you'll get some bland answers: "I watched something on TV." "I read something crazy on the internet."

Not me.

Yesterday, a bird somehow got into the back room at the comic book store. It wasn't very big and it was just sitting on some of the pipes. Several people tried to get it out, but since the thing hid in a cluttered back corner, there was nothing we could do.

Today, I dropped in for a few minutes in between getting some figures for my thesis and going to the library to type them into the paper. The whole time I was talking to Tom, I heard the bird making lots of noise. We were afraid it had gotten into the walls of the store proper.

I went downstairs to use the restroom--and I saw the bird in the main room of the basement, a room filled with boxes of comics. This wasn't good. A bird hanging around with boxes isn't that bad, but a bird hanging around with old comic books, that could be disaster. Obviously, the bird had to go.

Since the bird found a corner where it thought it could easily hide in, I got the idea that I could prod it out with my umbrella and catch it in some comic box lids. But it thought it could hide in the corner, so that didn't work. Instead, the bird likely hurt its wing trying to fly in an incredibly confined space.

Tom said the bird was close enough to the open where someone could reach in and grab it. Since Ken wasn't around to do the crazy stuff, I volunteered. Tom laughed and said I didn't have to, but I did anyway.

It was a little bird, probably a fledgling. As I tried to nudge it into the open, I noticed that it let off a series of cries, all without closing its mouth. Since I didn't want to make any more contact with the bird than I had to (it wouldn't be good for the bird), when I got it to hop out a few feet, I made a motion toward Jack and said for him to pass me a box. About that moment, customers started coming in upstairs and everyone else migrated that way. I nearly got the lid put over the bird, but it dashed past me before I could get it all the way down. I jumped forward with the box again, catching the bird's wing for a single second.

It flew into another corner, this one surounded by a desk instead of comic boxes. The commotion brought the other guys back and we proceeded to the desk. The bird was sitting in the corner, feeling momentarily safer. I asked the guys to make some motion off to the side of me as I walked around to another angle and dropped the box lid over the bird. And succeeded.

We cleared a path to the door and I used a piece of small cardboard to wedge a gap under the box so Jack could slide a long piece of cardboard underneath. As we straightened it out, we heard the bird crying out again and noticed we'd caught it's foot outside of the box lid. I lifted the lid slightly and managed to get the entire bird safely under the box lid.

Due to the size of the box, I had Jack help me escort the bird out. Since I was walking backwards, I managed to fall when I got backed into the stairs, but the bird didn't get out and I was fine. I got back up, we went out the door, and released the bird... who promptly ran underneath Tom's car.

Not to worry, the car was parked. Within an hour, a larger bird of the same variety landed in front of the comic book store. A few minutes later, the little bird we'd nearly kept as store mascot hopped out and started following its mother.

Who says there are no happy endings?

Personal Reality

I took part today in a brief discussion on how our perceptions define our reality. Basically, if we beleve something to be true, then it might as well be. Well, that's what I think about it.

In the past few days, I've mentally kicked myself over my thesis. I've got very little time to finish typing it and I haven't felt like I've done enough for it. I took today as an opportunity to reboot myself, devoting my work solely to finishing my thesis. I even went so far as to take a trip to the library and did my typing there.

Now, I'm meeting my quotas and getting the work done. By the end of the week, I'll have something really good to show for it. By the end of next week... I should be done.

The Writer, The Reader, and Editorial Politics

I'm a fan of superheroes and I started my comics reading with Marvel, specifically the X-Men. I'll likely always default Marvel, or at least default to the X-Men because that's where I started, that's what I relate to the most. Despite that, I can't help but feel a greater distance than ever from Marvel. The reason: Civil War#2.

After reading this, I saw a lot of ways that the comic industry could go. I saw DC clearly having the superior edge in the current sales wars. I saw Marvel fading back to a time where the X-Men had to carry the company's sales. I saw the death of superhero comics. It hasn't gone that far yet, but if this particular train isn't stopped, it could end up there.

The big thing about this issue, which could be the lasting moment of the entire series, is the last two pages where Spider-man reveals his true identity to the world. This action irrevocably alters the character, forever, and if logic holds any bearing, this is a terrible thing. Think about how many people Spider-man has put in jail. Think about the case for fraud J. Jonah Jameson might have against him. Think about how many insurance claims will be filed against Spider-man.

Most of all, think about his family and friends, for they are the walking dead. With the sheer numbers of villains that would want Peter's head on a platter, they only have to organize and vengeance will be theirs. He will suffer as no man has ever suffered before.

Now, I ask you to think of this from a reader's point of view. As someone who's read Spider-man for long stretches, I think the appeal of the character is his upbeat mentality, his "everyman" qualities, and a general sense of fun that comes from his superhero activities. GONE! Moreso, the ability to let the character have some small solace from the stresses of his life is also gone. Not only does he lose his relatability, he loses all his fun aspects as well. Spider-man stories from this day forward will be exercises in sadism and participation in them will be a practice in masochism. But I'm raving a bit.

My real thoughts are... betrayal. As a reader, I feel that Marvel comics as an entity has betrayed what loyalty I have to them. For them, policy is now "nothing is sacred, nothing is safe." I respect that heroes have to bleed for readers to sympathize with them, but they have to have the ability to win.

As a writer, I think about how such a story can be approached. Many people were quick to attack Mark Millar for writing the issue until he said this:

"There's scenes coming up and twists on characters that will blow you away, I promise, but this one was entirely Joe Q... ...I'd have had him on the other side, but the rationale they had was a good one, so I came up with the TV camera way of doing it. But the blame for this one lies with Joe essentially."

From this, I gather that Millar had no choice--Spider-man reveals himself. But as Millar said, the blame lies with Joe Quesada. He is the editor-in-chief and he makes policy. That is his right. However, I've heard that Greg Rucka has an interesting viewpoint on Marvel: essentially, Marvel doesn't focus on characters being superheroes, but on them arguing with one another; their heroes usually don't get to do much for the greater good. I butchered that, but you get the idea.

It is Marvel policy to invoke shock value to get people to read their books. What good comes from Spider-man revealing himself? What does anyone gain from this--anyone not DC that is?

I can tell you some results:
1. List Dropping--many Marvel fans (not to be confused with zombies, which have no brains) will remove Civil War from their lists, everything Marvel from their lists, or somewhere in between. I've already seen the beginnings of this and it will murder Marvel sales in the long term.
2. Massive Amounts of Hate Mail--all addressed to Joe Quesada, the intelligent villain of Marvel.
3. Price Hikes--it might require the first item, but if Marvel thinks all that's reading are zombies, then they won't shed a tear in raising the price of a standard comic to the atrocious level of $3.50.
4. The End of Regular Marvel--if it isn't stopped soon, this mentality of "shock equals substance" will run the Marvel Universe into the toilet.

For all of you who are fans of comic book superheroes or anything related to them, I implore you to do the following:
1. If you know why you are mad, write a letter to Joe Quesada and tell him about it.
2. If you're really interested in a comic book, be it Uncanny X-Men, Civil War, 52, Wyrms, etc., buy it and enjoy it.
3. Conversely, if you don't enjoy a book, don't buy it.
4. If you're not sure if you like a book any more, force the creators to sell you on the book; don't give them a guaranteed sale without any effort.
5. If you're dissatisfied with a company/character, don't give them any money. This includes toy, poster, and DVD money.

As fans of comics--or movies, video games, and music--we each get as many votes as are in our pockets. Each vote is green with a picture of George Washington on it. As prices go up, we owe it to ourselves to use each of our votes for only those things we truly support. Your purchase is a vote for that product, so make your vote count.

Dreams as Ideas--A Commanding Thought

After having a vivid dream which could make for a solid story, I thought I should take the opportunity to speak about the topic of using dreams as an idea source. Having studied dreams as a hobby from time to time, I find their composition very interesting. Knowing the kinds of things that a person dreams about can clarify things about how that person's mind works, but it's still not the definative answer on such a topic (since there isn't one).

A few facts about dreams:
1. A healthy person has 3 or 4 dreams every night (8 hour sleep period), regardless if they remember what they dreamed about .
2. The thoughts a person has during the last hour or two before sleeping dominate what that person will dream about.
3. Dreaming, or the Rapid Eye Movement stage of sleep, is one of the physical cornerstones of mental health. Entering this stage allows the mind to sort out our problems and cope with stress.
4. Having and remembering a single dream within a year's time constitutes a recurring dream, which is a way of the mind making a statement to the conscious self.

In the dream I had, I was in the future, probably no more than 10 or 20 years in the future. I was seeing things through they eyes of a man who was about 23 years old, had short brown hair, and wore a long coat. He'd just returned from a long journey where he'd learned many things and was given an impromptu surprise party by his "three favorite people in the world."

These three people were Cyclops, Phoenix, and Iceman. Their boss, who was a short distance behind them, was Professor X. When I made note of all these things, I figured out who's point of view I was seeing things from: a very different version of Cable.

The rest of the dream played out as a growing dissent of social philosophy between Cable and Professor X. There were a lot of subtle details that I can't really put into words after that. Eventually, the two had a complete falling out and went their separate ways.

It concluded with Cable leaving the X-Corporation (not the Xavier Institute) and meeting a woman on the street. He stops the woman and asks her, "Why are you wearing a blonde wig over your shiny black hair? And why do you use makeup to conceal the lovely black design over your eye?" This woman was a different version of Domino. They talked for a few minutes and walked away from the X-Corporation together.

Yes, I really like the X-Men.

I noticed that this version of Cable wasn't a warrior or soldier in the least. He was on a path where he might become one, but wasn't. Instead, he was a young man developing his own ideas and using them to help others through the X-Corporation. One of the things he did was redesign and rebuild the X-Corporation building through sheer force of will; he reshaped an entire skyscraper just using his thoughts.

My thought was that I might be able to take this dream and the open-ended ideas in it, and turn it into a story. There were some logical name changes present: Nathan, not Cable. Scott, not Cyclops. Rachel, not Phoenix or Jean. I think it can still have the structure of the X-Men characters that were present, but no more than that. Basically, dreams and outside inspiration together can lead to story ideas.

I've had other ideas come from dreams. The Brill'Que, one of which I showed before as a picture, came from a nightmare, one of the worst I ever had. Some of the ideas from "The Golden Hollow," such as a telekinetic natural disaster, came from a dream. All of these have been refined in the past and will likely be refined more in the future. Dreams alone can't be the story, but they can be excellent building blocks and strong foundations if managed properly.

The Silent Covenant

Silent: performed or borne without utterance.

Covenant: a formal binding agreement.

What's so important about a formal binding agreement, performed or borne without utternace? Very simple--it's the core of a lot of ideas within a project that, until today, I've called Unnamed Horror Novel.

For a couple of days, I've been thinking that I should use a title that included "the covenant," but that didn't feel right. I mentioned this to Oscar who said that there needed to be an adjective in there and it could work. As a joke, I remembered what spurred this project forward in the first place, Silent Hill.

I said, "How about The Silent Covenant?" Oscar laughed. Then we both thought about it and decided it might work. Not telling Jonathan what it was for, I asked him if he thought it was a good title; he gave quite a few ooos and ahhhs about how good it sounded. I asked Jeff, Katie, and Rick, getting some good responses there as well. I think it's going to work and there are a few story reasons why:

1. The primary character dynamic is built around a couple who have been dating for many years. Such a relationship can be seen as a negotiation to form a covenant (marriage), and the unsaid motivations of the main character toward his girlfriend would most definately be silent.

2. The story eventually homes in on several upper members of the community quietly forging a pact with a sinister agent of the Brill'Que sisterhood, Exonia. Exonia is currently the only new character I've made for this that has a name, any and all suggestions in this regard would be appreciated.

3. The main character enters into an arrangement with Commander to give him a fighting chance against a horde of people in one of the later sequences. The ramafications of this arrangement... well, I know them, but I doubt the main character will get to find out.

This is going to be a tale more about character study and survival than advancing plot and finding adventure. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep the reader from knowing exactly what is going on for the longest time. I'll describe sounds of torment and suffering, sounds lacking any visual. All visuals will be brief and fragmented, letting the reader fill in the details. It will all be kept vague, just so I have a better shot at scaring the readers while drawing them along for the journey.

Admissions

It makes one's self better to admit things about themself. I'm in the middle of a stressful time, so I thought now might be a good time to do just that.

I don't know how to look for a job. I've never really learned. I know things about the process, but I don't really know 50% of what most people know aobut it. The only reason I've gotten the jobs I have in my life is because I took advantage of some opportunities that fell in my lap.

I do know what jobs I refuse to take. After close to twenty years of actively hearing people say "Food service sucks," I'd have to say that's one set of jobs I refuse to do. I'd sell everything I own just to avoid taking a food service job, at least that's what I'm thinking.

This all comes down to one very simple thing. All the base information I have about anything, someone told me. If I'm not told what to do, I can't really do it.

For example, today's episode of the job hunt took me back to the nearest hospital, again looking for the "Employment Entrance." I followed where the one landmark said to go and eventually found myself at one of the many large entrances. Inside I found a map, a map that gave me absolutely no further information.

Now, why didn't I ask anyone for help? Because the trick of it all, as far as I can tell, is that there are certain things I have to be able to find at a particular place before I'll have a prayer of lasting more than a week there. Finding where to drop off an application is one of them. Don't debate me on this; it's my twisted sense of honor we're talking about. I can't even reason with it.

There have been times in my life where my twisted sense of honor has gotten me into bad situations before. If I listen to it completely, then, if I don't finish my thesis this summer, I'll see myself as being $250+ in debt on top of anything else I've currently got. If I don't finish, I'll feel like I don't deserve any gifts given to me as part of my pretending to graduate.

I might add more later, but feel free to chime in.

Intimidation Through Length

I've been doing some communicating with "my peers" about what to do about my thesis. I've gotten some feedback and I've made some progress as well on my own. As part of all this, I've been given a copy of an old undergraduate study on a very similar topic.

The undergratuate paper was 32 pages. Other than text, there was a table of contents, a cover page, graphs, and references at the end. And it was single-spaced. I tell myself it doesn't matter because I will write with a writer's approach, conserving words to strengthen the overall language.

Of course, time is my enemy as well. I might be able to bullshit my way into getting my defense done later next week, but that's about the only way I'm going to get away with it.

I'm done stressing out now. Time to get back to work.

Direct Answers, Neutral Questions

When you want a clear answer, the easiest thing to do is to ask a direct question.

For a while now, my major professor has had some issues with my thesis research. I knew what the issues were more or less, so I did what I could to fix them. More or less isn't definate knowledge. When I directly expressed what I was wanting to do, and I was told exactly what is still required of me. That might sound bad to some, but for where I am and how much time I've got, it's a very very good thing.

Rarely does anyone ask a direct question.

Take the media for example. If they want an answer, they decide what types of answers they want, then shape questions to generate those answers.

The local news called the comic book store today while I was working and asked if they could come down and ask a few questions about the new Batwoman character. Free exposure for the store? "Sure, come on down." But who is this Batwoman, you may ask?

This is Batwoman. Wealthy socialite Kate Kane. Has some connection to Bruce Wayne. Former girlfriend of Renee Montoya. Girlfriend? To a girl?

Welcome to the controversy. All the big media--not just comics--talk has been that "Batwoman is a lesbian." It's been the thing to talk about on news shows. And the local news thought they'd get comic readers' thoughts...

Being Store Manager, I got to negotiate the communication between the interviewer and the store. They asked me several questions about what bearing this character will have on comics and what brought her about. In a sentence, my standpoint is, "This is just one detail about the character, it's just something that's part of her background."

The questions, and I wish I could remember them, were very "open." Open doesn't get them in trouble at all, but lets me stick my foot in my mouth much, much easier. I used the best of my diplomatic abilities to keep from getting snagged, especially because I wasn't just answering questions for me, I was also answering questions on behalf of Marvels & Legends Comics.

I haven't seen the broadcast, so I don't know if they made me sound like the guy who hates gays or the guy who drools over lesbians. But I'm sure it looked like one of those two.

The lesson is, if you hear a direct question, answer it. Otherwise assume someone is looking to decieve you. That sounds very Art of War, but I've read a lot of that book and it holds true here.

One final note: This marks my 100th blog post. Never thought I'd make it this far.