And the crow lady said, "Get out of my mind!"

(Name the reference for bonus points.)
I can't get her out of my head. Just when I think I have, pop, she's back. No, not the crow lady.

As per last week's discussions and diagramming of my interactions with nice girls in the lecture hall, I followed Katie's suggestion and went looking for some lecture notes. I was a little more forthcoming than that. What I did was return the gesture I was given last week and provide Lauren with my office hours and e-mail.

After that, the part of my brain that created Commander decided to have a good long laugh--at me. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, then you're missing out. Anyway, I laughed because I did go out of my way to deliver said information. The result... I'm going to go with neutral. Meaning, I can't tell.

After telling Andrea about what's been going on, she asked, "Do you feel like you can't get her out of your head?" The answer: yes. I thought for a while about the various implications of why. Is it because I thought she might like me, or is it another reason? I don't think the concept of type applies to my preferences any more. I just want a few things and if I decided I'm interested, I'm interested.

For now, I say that my dwelling on it is done, or at least on hold. I've allowed the door of communication to remain open. I've even thought of ways to justify doing so. But the reality is I've got to keep moving along and I can't let some assumed perception stop me. I've got to keep going forward.

Assumed Objectivity

I had a thought the other day. I talked with a girl and thought back to my past. The way this girl started talking to me reminded me of times in the past when girls were dropping me hints or sending me signals to talk to them because they liked me. It hasn't happened much that I'm aware of. This time, it's a girl I'm not objected to.

Could I vague that up for you? Sure, but I have reasons for keeping things vague.

Instead of being a total jerk/fool, I decided to be logical about all this and get some advice, preferable from a female since they know how girls think better than guys do. In a mostly objective manner, I relayed all pertinent information to Katie. She had a few questions for me. "How was she standing?" "Did she come to you, or did you go up to her?" Little things I would never have thought of. After some discussion, complete with diagrams on a dry-erase board, Katie led me to believe that this girl is interested in me.

Here's where the posters of the world come in (provided they aren't advertisement bots). What do you think? What thoughts do you have on attraction between males and females? What makes one person like another? Give me your thoughts.

Coincidence

I was really hung up on a girl in high school.

****Commander's Interjection****
"Hung up?" Try "totally nuts about" instead.
********

Either way, I really liked this girl. Today, I taught my 8AM section of lab. Not only was there a student in there who looked exactly like the girl I was totally nuts about in high school, this student had the same name, spelled in the same unusual fashion. I'm not drawn toward this student like I was the girl in high school; I just think it's the most screwed up coincidence today.

For the record, I'm not interested in pursuing relationships with students. It's a bad idea and this job is traumatic enough for me as it is. Besides, I've got other things to be worried about before I can even think about looking for another girlfriend. I'm mostly OK with being single right now.

Another odd coincidence: Yesterday, I looked over my roster sheets and saw a familiar name. I recognized it as a student who failed one of my labs a year ago. And it was the same student. I felt uncomfortable, and I'm sure this student did as well. What are the odds of getting the same teaching assisstant twice if you don't plan for it?

Simple Things

Fall Semester started today. As a teaching assisstant, I got to endure observing an 8AM lab. Later I got to endure lecture, but I had a choice in which one I went to. I chose 1PM. Here's why that's a good thing.

Since Anatomy & Physiology is one of those "bitch" classes, the University offers Supplimental Instruction sessions to help students in at risk courses. (Side note, my previous supervisor, Dr. Steve Trautwein, was focal in starting this program at SEMO.) As such, a student has to lead the SI sessions and serve as a tutor for anyone in the class who decides to go.

The SI leader for A&P this semester is a Junior named Lauren. I had a few minutes after class where I talked with her. She was very nice, polite, approachable. In those few minutes, I got the impression that she was very intelligent. I'm glad that there are students I could be working with that I can relate to.

One Thing That Destroys All Else

What could this terrible thing be? What could destroy everything that it touches? What is the greatest evil ever set forth by mankind? The answer will not shock you.

For some odd reason, this log has been assaulted by advertisements. One using links to sell clothes, the other to sell someone else's web log. As Oscar said, someone mistook my blog for a billboard. Well, they can think again. I managed to remove the foul advertising taint, but there are other places still plagued by this foul creation of commercials.

***********Commander's Interjection****************
What next? Are you going to tell the world that topically applied flouride doesn't clean teeth, but does make teeth visible to spy satellites? We've heard it. Besides, everybody knows that commercials suck; that's why the American national passtime is channel surfing.
******End Interjection******

True as all that may be, most people aren't aware at how much commercials are eating away at the things they're attached to. In 1999, an hour long TV show had between 42 and 45 minutes of actual program, with the remainder being commercials. That rate is now down to 41 to 43 minutes of actual programming.

Go to a movie in the theater and it's worse. let's say you have a showtime of 7:20 PM. The first things you see are commercials. No less than three, guaranteed; usually 5 or more. And these commercials are longer than the ones on TV. So the commericals will end between 7:30 and 7:35. You'll then get about 15 minutes of movie previews, which aren't all bad (especially if you see previews for Serenity). So your movie won't actually start until 7:50, if you're lucky.

Ticket sales are down in theaters and I think commericals are a big part of that. Most people don't want to deal with them. And with ticket prices being high in most places, well, it's just good sense to rent a DVD instead.

The Dark Side of Anime

Watched the end of Paranoia Agent. I think I know what happened in it. The biggest problem with the show has been the lack of text translation, thanks to Cartoon Network. If you ever watch anything directed by Satoshi Kon, you'll see there are things you have to read to understand what's going on. I found a potential "What the...?" twist in the episode only because I can read some Japanese.

I was going to discuss, but that's hard with surreal, cerebral stuff. I'm not sure what else I can say.

Genres I Love, Genres I Hate

I have an undergraduate degree in Biology with a Creative Writing minor. I'm currently a teaching assisstant for the Biology department. I want to be a writer. So what genre do I like best?

Using bookstore headings, logic would dictate that I'm crazy about Science Fiction/Fantasy. But every time I look at that section, I can't help but feel sick. About 80% of the shelves are filled with books that have subheadings that look something like "Book X of Y," or "Part X of the Whatever Series." It's all cookie cutter.

There is some hope. I noticed the newest Orson Scott Card book in Hastings earlier. It was an urban fantasy. I don't remember the title, but the thought of such a thing--a great writer trying different things--sounds wonderful.

My Friend Rejection

Got my rejection slip for "Blood Draw" today. I call it a rejection slip due to its size and its mass-produced nature. I know these things are mass-produced because I've got an older one that identical except the old one says "The Golden Hollow" where this one says "Blood Draw."

I could claim writer's block, but I'd be a liar. I've had a lot of ideas recently. Most of them seem to involve comic stories though, and I'm not in a position to write those stories, since they deal with Cable, X-Force, and--gasp!--the JSA. I actually thought of a DC story idea. First time for everything.

Actually, I'm about to employ the Spycraft Questionare to build some characters, some possibly villains, so I can write. I might also take a line or two from a song and try to use it as a setting for a scene.

Speaking of villains, Rocky pushed a DVD of a short-lived TV series on me the other day. An odd show called Profit. Think American Psycho if people actually suspected the psychopath and if the things the psycho does all fulfil some hidden goal. Jim Profit is this odd sort of villain. He has a deeper tone to his inner voice than his public voice. Cool, screwed up stuff.

Wedding = Chaos (III--Dancing Madness)

My sister got me to serve as money collector for the dollar dance, the dance where the bride (and sometimes the groom, as in this case) dances with a bunch of people who have each paid a dollar to dance. Of course, there are a lot of people who pay more in, just so the couple can get more money for the Honeymoon. So I collected money for April, Landon's sister collected money for him.

Since the reception was Mardi Gras themed, April and Landon both wore tons of beads to be given to the people they dance the dollar dance with. I had an oddly shaped glass to hold out so people could drop in their money. As each stepped forward, they had beads put on them and then danced.

There was a great assortment of people lined up to dance. Grandparents from both sides, parents from both sides, etc. My Dad, even though he'd already danced with April, got in line just the same. My Mom got in Landon's line, Landon's Dad got in April's line... you get the idea.

I had the thought that I might just drop in a dollar if the line got thin enough. My cousin, Steven, had a different idea. He came up and said, "If I put in a dollar, will you go dance with her?" I told him he could go dance with her, but he wasn't interested in that, even though my other present male cousin had already danced with April. I agreed under the stipulation that it'd have to wait for the line to get thinned out some.

I noticed things were getting thinned out and the dance had gone on for a while, so I called Steven back up. I told him to stand in line like he was next, then take the glass of money while I danced with April. I passed the glass off, and walked up to April. With it as dark as it was, she couldn't quite tell who was coming up to her until they were there. She got some beads halfway on me and screamed out, "OH MY GOD!" After another second of two, she added, " MOM! SOMEBODY! GET THE CAMERA! YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!" I danced with her for a few minutes, which was heavily photographed, and let the next guy take a turn.

Then, there was the twisting later on, which I got dragged into for a minute. Not too bad--

******Commander's Interjection*********
--Bullshit, you're a terrible dancer. That's why the last time you danced before then was at Senior Prom in 1997. Eight years ago. Also, you sucked less then.
*****End Interjection*****

OK, I'm a terrible dancer. My parents are excellent dancers, my sister is fair to good at it. Me; no desire, no experience. As some other facet of my mind has blurted out, it's been a while.

Then, there was Crystal. Some of you have heard this tale, already. I'm not brain dead, I remember things if I hear them a time or two.

I was taking some pictures with those disposable cameras, trying to get some pictures just so relatives could remember the dance (that's a long story itself), and I found myself being dragged to the dance floor to dance with my sister again. OK, she took me by surprise, it's payback for earlier. Then, she spun me into a group of her friends that I knew only by reputation for being unique individuals. They took turns dancing upon me.

One of these two was a girl by the name of Crystal. I found this out because she decided I was going to be her dance partner for the next song, which was a slow song. And she kept hold of me during the next song. And the next song. And the next song. We had a fine discussion while we danced. Then there were the points where she was dancing upon me. Bump and grind sort of dancing. I sure as hell don't know how to do that, much less how to react to it.

She was very into dancing and very taken with me. I don't know what to do here! Most people whould say, "Hey baby, wanna go back to [fill in the blank]?" Not me. I'm family, so I'm post-reception clean-up crew or I'm disowned. I barely know this girl and--

Then I saw, she was moving her face in, closing her eyes, and slightly pushing out her lips. She wanted to kiss me. I barely knew this girl, so no way I'm doing that. She was nice enough, simple normal girl, loved, absolutely loved dancing. Finally, I made a really cheap excuse to get off the dance floor. She wanted me to stay with her, but I said I had to sit down. She wanted me to catch up with her, even though I never did.

The next morning, I learned my sister had been proclaiming I had a new girlfriend the whole time. UGH. Aside from totally being taken off guard, I got the experience of jumping into the dollar dance with my sister, which is a memory I'll always keep with me.

Wedding = Chaos (II--The Pictures)

Despite most thought, all the "official" church pictures were taken before the wedding. Things rolled along quite well for the most part. My sister had one of her coworkers' husband take the pictures. There was also a list of pictures that needed to be taken beforehand, which was good.

The most lively picture taken had to be Landon and my Dad, before April came in. They asked, "Where do you want us?" Several random responses led to Landon crouching and leaning back, while Dad had his hands on Landon's throat. This was the "Choking the Groom" picture, made just to get a reaction out of April later on.

When April came in, everyone except her and Landon got the boot, by whom, I'm not entirely certain. Anyway, we got booted for a good half hour or so. Ten people all dressed up to take pictures at 2:30PM and they might get to take one by 3:30PM. Again, skill with schedules.

Another picture discussion, at the reception, disposable cameras were left on the tables for the guests (many of whom were members of or dragged along with the Barbarian Horde) to take pictures for April and Landon with. The results should be interesting.

All things considered, the pictures, especially the official ones, looked to have turned out well.

Wedding = Chaos (I--The Ceremony)

This will be the first in a series of posts where I describe some events surrounding the wedding of my sister, April, to her long-time love, Landon Butler. Such a thing might sound sane and normal. HA!

Being Lutheran--Missouri Synod, you'd think I'd have been to several Lutheran weddings. Guess again. This was the first. Lutehran church, pastor, service, so you'd think there would be critera on who comes in when... but, no.

No two people had the same idea of what would be done at the service. When you can't get a concensus--

So it looked like my Mom was running the show. Nope. No one was. I escorted in Sheila (Landon's Mom) and my Mom; Dad brought in my sister, gave her away, and everyone remained standing. Pastor didn't announce for all to be seated, motion, or anything else like that. A little less than 200 people stood for half the wedding before Sheila started telling everybody to sit down. Then, Pastor said for everyone to be seated (better late than never).

Now, I had my nice new suit on. Due to my duties, I had a rose on my lapel as well. I was standing at the front of the church after the parents and grandparents had all ceremoniously walked out. Pastor announced the reception and wished everyone well. Given my description at the time, and the pre-established usher-like role, what would you think the guests would do? Wait? That's what I thought. Apparently, the Barbarian Horde is exempt from waiting, so I found myself standing in a church sanctuary with my Mom's sorority sisters, who were waiting for the Horde to clear out.