No, I'm not here after all

Those are the words I end up telling my computer every day. I've been making excuses about the individual times of day (early mornings and late nights) when I have done a lot of the work on Vitamin F. Production of the story hasn't stopped completely, quite the contrary. I've got a notebook that I carry with me all the time since it fits in my pocket. One full scene and part of another have made it in there as of late.

So what's holding me up? Lots of things. I'll just name the biggest few.

Stress. I've got gobs of it. Occasional difficulties with work, great-grandmother passed away, gaming politics to name a few.

Nutritional strength. About the time I started Vitamin F, I actually started taking daily vitamin suppliments. Yes, this is what gave me the idea for how the primary drug would be presented, which led to the title. If I have smaller meals, I usually can't justify taking a vitamin. There've been a lot of times recently where I've been forced to have many smaller meals instead of full ones (closing shifts at work). Now that things have stabilized again, I've recognized the problem and taken steps to rectify it.

Blood? I've had to sop up a bleeding wound far too many times in the past couple of weeks. I'm tired of it. I'm tired because of it. As of today, I'm wondering if this might be a part of the creativity drought. Again, I'm taking care of it.

I guess I'm drawing a line in the sand. I know what problems currently exist in my life and I'm looking at them and saying, "No more." The writing will continue because, if it doesn't, I should give up on most of my life to this point. I have no intention of giving up.

Yes, I'm still here

I know it's been a few weeks, but I haven't forgotten about this thing. I haven't really had a lot to say as of late, but that's fine. No one's really had any response for my posts in a while.

Stress has bogged me down as of late. There have been a lot of little things and two or three big ones that have really gotten in my way. Right now, I'm looking over everything I'm involved with and trying to decide what to do differently (if anything). Before a few days ago, my writing had been restrained to a large degree by this. It sucks, but it's true.

But I'm back now, doing what I can to keep things going. Wrote a small section yesterday and I'll do another here in a few minutes. It's that little bit a day that's gotten me to 200+ pages on Vitamin F, and it'll see me through to the end of the story as well. I just have to keep going.

Try to remember that when you're down, or whenever you think you need a morale boost. If you tell yourself to keep going and make and try to consistently, you'll do exactly that.

Establishing a Plan

After recent reevelations about my progress with Vitamin F, I know that I've got to keep things moving. I spoke with my de facto editor--or would you prefer beta reader, Dan?--I got things set up to try to hammer out another quarter of the story by or around June 1. This is doable for a couple of reasons:

1. I've already written some of the section I need to finish. I've got a rough plot of that section hanging on my wall.

2. I know the tone of the section, as well as the predomiant antagonist(s). And They Have A Plan. (There's a lot of similarity between Galactica season 1 Cylon hunts and Genetic Security constantly checking up on people.)

3. Oriane Panettiere can be summed up in one word: misandrist. I think I might have made that word up, but what it means is that she hates males. Take the word "misogynist" and replace the "gyn" (female) for "andro" (male). Leave sitting 22 years before baking at 450 degrees.

4. One sentence plot: "Bridgett tries to find her place in the world." Story: Genetic Security does what it can to keep the plot from resolving. Resolution: that'll stay my secret for a while longer.

Great Achievements

There come times in everyone's lives when they feel like they've done something truly worthwhile. Depending upon their personality, the accomplishment could matter to one person or to one billion. It's all a matter of personal perspective.

Running down half a basketball court to make a layup in front of a crowded arena.

Giving a speech to a community group, letting them know what recycling really is and how it really works.

Showing someone compassion in such a way, it literally gives them life.

There's a broad range of things that could apply as a great achievement, but to creative types such as myself, it's a lot harder to find something that will satisfy. Our great accomplishments are going to tend to be those things that only we can enjoy. While people might spend hours with something artistic, the artist--the creator--will have spent days, if not longer, with it.

I told Denny O'Neil at the convention that I'd written 200 pages on a book, which he thought was a step in the right direction. Of course, 200 pages is an estimation, not an exact value. The exact value as of 3PM Central time, May 1st, is 193 pages.

I noticed at the end of March that I'd cranked out around 60 pages a month, 120 pages over two months. I wanted to get at least 180 pages if it was possible by the end of April. I shot out an extra 13 to make things that much better.

Bridgett's journey to find her place in the world (hers, not ours) has a lot of detail to it already. And even though Commander's battled rank along similar lines, I'm starting to wonder if I may have already written more about Bridgett. Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of Commander stuff stored in my skull, but that doesn't replace the simple accomplishment of having written 193 pages of a novel.

It's one of, if not the single greatest achievement of my life. Every day I write more on it will be the greatest achievement of my life. Even after I move on to something else, each time I write something new and push forward, it's the greatest thing I've ever done.