Better Now

For the past few days, I've been a bit down because of everything tied to my lack of a love life. I've done what I could to deal with it and get over it, but it just didn't work. I'm not sure why it's ben so hard, but that's the way life goes sometimes.

Anyway, what I did was take that depressed feeling and try to work through it, try to get around it. No dice. I tried to completely separate myself from the feeling. Again, no luck. Navigating around that bit of complication in my life, I looked at it very closely. I didn't mean to, but that's what happened. I realized what it was like to really hurt--really feel like my heart was empty.

I took that idea, the thought that my rotten luck might be tearing my heart to nothing one little piece at a time, and spent a few minutes staring right at it. And that's when I realized that was exactly where I needed to take things with the climax of Mind & Machine.

In that, Commander is supposed to be in a state of extreme anguish, a point where he's lost EVERYTHING. So, Commander bashes his fist on an unbreakable barrier holding the girl he's in love with. He crushes his hand, but gains nothing. Finally, he screams and punches the barrier again and again. He gets nothing out of it. He stops and remarks on how his heart has been slowly torn apart, leaving him empty. And he finally breaks through.