Stored Nervousness

There's been one thing in my life I have never been able to face down, at least not very well: a girl I'm interested in. I'm a surprisingly confident person on a lot of levels, but not when it comes to pursuing cute girls. I've only asked two girls--stratch that, three girls--out before. The score stands at YES, 0; NO, 2; Maybe Later, 1. I bring this up because of the recent increase in the number of girls I've asked out, as well as the bearing that has on my writing.

I'll start with the latter. Over time the influence these girls have had over my creative process has diminished more and more. Both of the "NO"s have inspired characters that interact with Commander. I've tweaked both of them in such ways as to protect their privacy and so that I can separate the character from the person who inspired it. Both of these characters embody different struggles/plot threads. One is the cause of, well, damn near everything, since her birth triggers the telekinetic natural disaster known as "The Golden Hollow." The other, being a person of faith, embodies the struggle of a person understanding their faith.

Unless something radically changes, the one entry in the Maybe Later category will not embody any plot point. Why? My imagination does my creative work now. That's a large part of the division between inspiration and character forming, which is a good thing. I'd hate to fall into the trap that Laurell K. Hamilton fell into after her marriage fell apart--she turned one of her strongest characters into a pathetic puppy.

So I tried asking a girl out again today. I wasn't told, "No." I found out that my intelligence wasn't as good as I thought it was--only broken up for days, not weeks; she didn't know I was interested before now. It turned out OK in the end. I know what to expect, but not necessarily what to do.

And the lesson I took from this: Weaknesses, such as nervousness, can be turned into strengths, such as starting a discussion on nervousness.