Quarter-Life Crisis and Solutions

In short, I don't feel like I've accomplished much, I'm increasingly apathetic when I'm with friends (I don't mean to be, honest), I'm feel a great deal of loneliness, I see other people's personal successes when I see none for myself, and I have "the worst luck ever" when it comes to trying to get a date. These are all listed reasons for a Quarter-Life Crisis.

So I've asked myself two questions to solve this. 1. How did this happen? 2. What can I do about it?

How did this happen?
Around July 4th, I was bad low on funds (another indicator), and I went to Oran to spend the day with a few friends at the Madcackler's place. It was a good time and we even blew some shit up. Then this little bitch shows up; she's nice enough, "neighborly" to use an archaic term. She brings over more explosives and sort of hits on all four of us there, even though she's in high school, and we're all college or later. The little bitch talks with us about anime and manga, so we don't think she's a bitch at all. She asks about playing Halo 3, so we do that.

Side note--I suck at Halo 2 and 3. I don't own them, nor do I own the machines they're played on. And I don't like to spend my time engaging in things that will piss me off, which vapid assholes and fratboys (the target audience of Halo 2 and 3) do frequently.

The little bitch brings her X-Box over, the Cackler sets everything up, and we play. All gametypes I really suck at too, so all I can do with any degree of success is kill myself. Eventually, the little bitch mentions how she manged to beat "the old guy," hence the title I've bestowed on her.

Being called "the old guy" was the keystone that started everything going wild. From there, I had to chaos of my actual birthday just over a week later. That was one really shitty day, until Joe and Angie gave me an impromptu birthday (cup)cake and gift (a Milton Berle quiote plaque). It was really nice and that turned things around. Then Lyndsey went out of her way and did something too.

I said before that Lyndsey was either the exact right or exact wrong person to do something for me under that situation. I've mentioned her on here before, and while I've told her about this blog, I don't think she reads it (which is why I could get away with what I'm about to say). She's a good friend, the Ideal Reader for Vitamin F, and I really, really, really like her. I'm incredibly attracted to her and have had to fight myself on that on repeated occasions. (And Lyndsey, if you do read this, I'm fairly certain that you're already aware of the fact that I like you.)

For a few weeks, I had good reason to think I had a real chance with Lyndsey. I don't now, but it's not because of anything I did. Things got better for her, that's all. To go into any more detail would derail the whole reason behind this post. However, I can say that, as of late, I've felt like real shit because of that whole situation. I've felt like I have to do something, but I have no idea what that might be.

What can I do about it?
I can't do anything about Lyndsey, but I can do plenty about me. I console myself with the harsh adage that "If it were easy, I wouldn't want it," something I thought of to apply toward writing, but I think it can be applied toward everything that's worth having.

I started something else, too. Any time I feel like shit, from now on, I'm going to try to do something nice for someone else. I'll give out compliments, or tell people reassuring things. I'm going to eventually give a random card to those three friends who spontaneously did something for me at work on my birthday. I've started sending out e-mails to everybody on my e-mail list, a few at a time, just telling them five things that I think when I think about them.

Maybe, when I get to the bottom of that list, I might feel a little more like my old self. I don't know, but it's the only thing I've though of so far, so that's what I'm doing. When my brain works right again, I'll really get some writing done as well.