I Told Myself So
This is gonna be a long one.
When this semester started and I saw exactly how much work I would have to do in order to finish this semester (and I'd better), I knew this would be one of the defining times of my life. In these few months, I would prove more of who I really am than I ever have before. I couldn't have been more right, and the semester is far from over.
First of all, I'm reporting directly from the lovely Geoscience Computer lab, the only place I know of that has the ArcGIS suite of programs I need to finish analyzing my thesis data. I've been here for 6 hours already and I'll probably be here for 4 more. (To save you the math, I'll be here probably until 2AM.) Even more fun is the fact that I've only run one analysis since I've gotten here and it hasn't even finished yet.
I knew I'd have to devote a lot of time, including Sundays, to working on my thesis. Here I am. I've done the weekend's grading while I wait. I can also work on summaries for Conservation Biology (more on that in a minute) or read one of two books: The Black Company or FullMetal Alchemist vol. 2 (manga).
Next up is Conservation Biology. I've had to go on 2 field trips for the class (reduced from 3) in the past week. The first was to Pioneer Forest, an uneven growth forest. They don't clear-cut for the most part, yet they still manage to make a profit. It's an impressive, beautiful place; I wish I'd brought a camera or a sketch book.
So yesterday, I took two cameras and a sketchbook with me to the St. Louis Zoo, the second field trip I went on for Conservation Biology. I saw a presentation on conservation in zoos and a detailed presentation on the inner workings of the primate house. My regrets were not seeing the tigers--since I just really like tigers--and the giant anteaters. I wanted to see the giant anteaters because I'm basing the cavalry mounts in Ashes of War on them. They're fast, weird, powerful animals.
Prematurely, sleep is going away. I knew that in a large part of the month of March, I would get less sleep than usual. Too much to do in too little time. But I should tell you why I used the word "prematurely."
Just before 7AM on Friday, the phone rang, waking me. Before I picked it up, I knew something was wrong. Then, Mom told me that Dad was in the hospital. His kidneys are officially worn, in the past tense, out. From that point on, we've known dialysis would be in the future, at least the near future.
It's not just the near future. The doctors aren't happy with his blood pressure and the stability of his heart. They think something minor is wrong with it. And the test they've used to see what's going on... well, if Dad's kidneys weren't shot before, they are now. Starting tomorrow, Dad's getting dialysis treatments daily for three days, and probably regularly after that. Still, I don't like that these doctors are, as far as I know using an average blood pressure as a basis for my Dad's treatment, or anyone else's. You know how many people in the world are average? Zero.
I could be a lot worse, a hell of a lot worse. Dad is in as good of spirits as can be considering the situation. April drove Mom to St. Louis and is just distressed over the whole situation. Mom... she's either going to weather the storm or she's going to totally lose it. I'm leaning toward weather the storm because she pointed out that, "When your Dad was diagnosed with diabetes, we thought it was the end of the world, but we've gotten through it; we'll get through this too." I'm inclined to agree.
Right now, we're just glad things are going as well as they are. Dad is feeling better since he's been at the hospital, except that he's wanting someone to tell him he can go home. And sometime next week, things will get back toward normal for my family.
I've told this to several people I know already. I've explicitly been told by a couple that they'll keep my Dad in their prayers; not all those have even met my family. From all sides possible, I've seen a lot of support. My friends, you've supported me and I thank you. Mom's friends have been supportive of her. And so on.
Basically, I'm a rock. I'm sticking to my guns with everything right now. This computer says it's 11:08 right now. I just checked the program I'm running. After doing a little math, I'm 75% of the way done. These are all slow-going processes and they'll all be solved in time. As long as I don't have to go wandering around these buildings any more tonight, I can wait it out. Around my office, it's like a weird horror movie. I got lots of great ideas for horror sequences from it.
Honor. Willpower. Tenacity. Reliability. Brutal Honesty. Someday, I might tell the tale about that last one, but I'm not willing to tell it today. See you on the other side of the analysis!
Gambatte kudasai--"Keep your chin up."
When this semester started and I saw exactly how much work I would have to do in order to finish this semester (and I'd better), I knew this would be one of the defining times of my life. In these few months, I would prove more of who I really am than I ever have before. I couldn't have been more right, and the semester is far from over.
First of all, I'm reporting directly from the lovely Geoscience Computer lab, the only place I know of that has the ArcGIS suite of programs I need to finish analyzing my thesis data. I've been here for 6 hours already and I'll probably be here for 4 more. (To save you the math, I'll be here probably until 2AM.) Even more fun is the fact that I've only run one analysis since I've gotten here and it hasn't even finished yet.
I knew I'd have to devote a lot of time, including Sundays, to working on my thesis. Here I am. I've done the weekend's grading while I wait. I can also work on summaries for Conservation Biology (more on that in a minute) or read one of two books: The Black Company or FullMetal Alchemist vol. 2 (manga).
Next up is Conservation Biology. I've had to go on 2 field trips for the class (reduced from 3) in the past week. The first was to Pioneer Forest, an uneven growth forest. They don't clear-cut for the most part, yet they still manage to make a profit. It's an impressive, beautiful place; I wish I'd brought a camera or a sketch book.
So yesterday, I took two cameras and a sketchbook with me to the St. Louis Zoo, the second field trip I went on for Conservation Biology. I saw a presentation on conservation in zoos and a detailed presentation on the inner workings of the primate house. My regrets were not seeing the tigers--since I just really like tigers--and the giant anteaters. I wanted to see the giant anteaters because I'm basing the cavalry mounts in Ashes of War on them. They're fast, weird, powerful animals.
Prematurely, sleep is going away. I knew that in a large part of the month of March, I would get less sleep than usual. Too much to do in too little time. But I should tell you why I used the word "prematurely."
Just before 7AM on Friday, the phone rang, waking me. Before I picked it up, I knew something was wrong. Then, Mom told me that Dad was in the hospital. His kidneys are officially worn, in the past tense, out. From that point on, we've known dialysis would be in the future, at least the near future.
It's not just the near future. The doctors aren't happy with his blood pressure and the stability of his heart. They think something minor is wrong with it. And the test they've used to see what's going on... well, if Dad's kidneys weren't shot before, they are now. Starting tomorrow, Dad's getting dialysis treatments daily for three days, and probably regularly after that. Still, I don't like that these doctors are, as far as I know using an average blood pressure as a basis for my Dad's treatment, or anyone else's. You know how many people in the world are average? Zero.
I could be a lot worse, a hell of a lot worse. Dad is in as good of spirits as can be considering the situation. April drove Mom to St. Louis and is just distressed over the whole situation. Mom... she's either going to weather the storm or she's going to totally lose it. I'm leaning toward weather the storm because she pointed out that, "When your Dad was diagnosed with diabetes, we thought it was the end of the world, but we've gotten through it; we'll get through this too." I'm inclined to agree.
Right now, we're just glad things are going as well as they are. Dad is feeling better since he's been at the hospital, except that he's wanting someone to tell him he can go home. And sometime next week, things will get back toward normal for my family.
I've told this to several people I know already. I've explicitly been told by a couple that they'll keep my Dad in their prayers; not all those have even met my family. From all sides possible, I've seen a lot of support. My friends, you've supported me and I thank you. Mom's friends have been supportive of her. And so on.
Basically, I'm a rock. I'm sticking to my guns with everything right now. This computer says it's 11:08 right now. I just checked the program I'm running. After doing a little math, I'm 75% of the way done. These are all slow-going processes and they'll all be solved in time. As long as I don't have to go wandering around these buildings any more tonight, I can wait it out. Around my office, it's like a weird horror movie. I got lots of great ideas for horror sequences from it.
Honor. Willpower. Tenacity. Reliability. Brutal Honesty. Someday, I might tell the tale about that last one, but I'm not willing to tell it today. See you on the other side of the analysis!
Gambatte kudasai--"Keep your chin up."
posted by LEN! at 10:16 PM
4 Comments:
It's 5:32 AM and I'm still in the Geoscience Computer Lab. That's right, I've carried well over into Monday. The analysis is about 94% complete at this point (a little less than 14 hours in). I think Monday isn't going to really exist for me. I've got a sneaky suspicion.
It's time for Perspectives. I'm your host, Lionel Osborne. It's curently 7:48 in the AM and our topic today is the horrid decripitude of Geoscience Lab computers...
Actually, it's not that bad--OK, the time is that bad. Other than that, things are well. There are only a handful of buffers left to run and it'll all be over. My 15-16 hour torment session will end.
Then, if I'm not totally dead to the world, I'll come back for more this afternoon. Joy.
Still, there are only 150 buffers left out of 20978. One gets integrated every 6 or 7 seconds, as opposed to 500-1000 the first minute of the analysis.
I feel for Cwick if it doesn't work because I'm going to make him find out exactly what's wrong. Not what might be wrong, exactly what's wrong.
Jeez Len are you on a major caffiene high right now or what? How are you still going? I fell asleep after 2 AM last night woke up at 7 and feel like crap. I think the lesson is for me to stay away from complicated statistical analysis.
Of course, then Steve gave me a DVD with the first Hellsing OVA on it, so things are perhaps improving.
I almost wish it was a caffiene high, but it wasn't. I was functioning on pure willpower, which is great for 10 maybe 12 hours tops. Doesn't work too well for 16 hour runs, which is what that turned out to be...
And it still didn't work completely right. There was an ugly gap at the North edge of the image. Thankfully, I can explain that flaw away in the Discussion section, so it's on to the next analysis, which shouldn't take nearly as long.
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